HobbyGROUND
Your old laptop from the drawer
€0 + postage
- Battery at 11%, holds for 6 minutes
- Stickers of three frameworks that no longer exist
- Runs one side project, very slowly
It works onyour machine.So we shipyour machine.
Serverless took the server away. Servermore puts it back, on your customer's desk. We unplug the laptop that runs your code, wrap it in bubble wrap and deliver it to production. Dev and prod are identical, because they're the same machine.
SERVICE
PROD
1
FROM
Your desk127.0.0.1, by the window
TO
ProductionCustomer's desk, near an outlet
CONTENTS
1 laptop, still warm. Uncommitted changes included.
WEIGHT
1.6 kg+ 3.2 kg node_modules
HANDLING
This side upKeyboard facing sky
One command. Three to five business days.
No containers, no images, no reproducible builds. The build is reproducible because we ship the thing that built it.
Terminal demo: running servermore deploy --prod. It detects your laptop, passes the tests on this machine, skips the container image because the container is the laptop, notes 12 uncommitted files and 47 open tabs that ship as they are, books a courier for 14:40 and prints the shipping label on the hallway printer. Then it asks you to unplug the charger, stick the label on the lid and wrap the laptop in bubble wrap, ticking each off as it detects it, warns you not to close the lid, and reports the laptop ready for pickup with tracking number SM-4471-LOCALHOST.
Nothing will actually be shipped. We checked.
Serverless vs. Servermore
Every serverless function still runs on a server. Someone else's, which you can't touch. Ours runs on yours, which you can't touch either, because it's in a van.
| Serverless | Servermore | |
|---|---|---|
| Cold starts | 200 ms to a few seconds | None. The laptop is still warm from your lap. |
| Dev/prod parity | Docker, Nix and a 400-line README | 100%. It is literally the same machine. |
| Debugging prod | Distributed tracing across 14 services | The customer posts the laptop back. You fix it at your desk and we ship it again. Mean time to recovery: 6–10 business days. |
| Scaling | Automatic, billed per millisecond | Buy another laptop. For vertical scaling, stack them. |
| Rollback | Redeploy the previous version | Prepaid return label in the box. |
| Edge network | 300+ points of presence | On the actual edge of the customer's desk. |
| Observability | Logs, metrics, traces, dashboards | Fan noise. Louder means more traffic. |
| Uptime | 99.99% SLA | Until the battery dies. Charger sold separately. |
| Secrets management | A dedicated vault with IAM policies | Sticky note on the bezel. Ships with the machine. |
Everything your app depends on. Physically.
Dependency hell exists because you only ship the code. We ship the code, the runtime, the OS, the exact version of Python you installed in 2019 and forgot about, and the 47 tabs that were open when it last worked.
Customs declarationForm SM-23
| ITEM | QTY | DECLARED VALUE |
|---|---|---|
| Your laptop, still warm | 1 | Priceless, to you |
| node_modules, printed edition | 1 | 3.2 kg |
| Open browser tabs, load-bearing | 47 | Do not close |
| .env file, the real one | 1 | High |
| Global npm packages nobody remembers installing | 212 | Critical, somehow |
| Coffee ring on the lid | 1 | Adds character |
| Charger | 0 | Sold separately |
Sender signature
it works for me
Track your deployment
Every Servermore deploy comes with live tracking, so you always know which motorway your production environment is on.
- 1
Committed
You write code. It works on your machine.
- 2
Picked up
Our courier collects the machine. Please stop typing.
- 3
In transit
Production is on a truck. Expect elevated latency.
- 4
Out for delivery
Customer finds a desk, a power outlet and the Wi-Fi password.
- ✓
Delivered
It works. It worked on your machine, and this is your machine.
Pricing per shipment
No per-request billing, no egress fees. You pay postage. Your customer pays electricity.
ProEXPRESS
The laptop you're reading this on
€49 per shipment
- Includes your Spotify session, still playing
- Slack notifications the customer can enjoy
- Next-day delivery within the EU
EnterpriseFREIGHT
Your whole desk. And you.
Talk to us
- Desk, chair, second monitor and developer, crated
- 24/7 on-call, because you're physically there
- Air holes included as standard
From the receiving end
Completely made-up reviews from completely made-up customers.
★★★★★
"We got a ThinkPad with a sticker that said do not update. We didn't. The app has worked flawlessly for eleven months."
★★★★☆
"Zero cold starts, as promised. Minus one star because the laptop arrived with someone's half-written cover letter open."
★★★★★
"I shipped my machine to 40 customers. I now own no machines. My manager says this is the most stable our product has ever been."
Questions
Can I keep working while my machine is in production?
No. We recommend getting a second machine. Once your code works on that one, we'll ship it too.
How do I ship a hotfix?
Write the fix on your new machine, then we ship that machine and the customer returns the old one. Zero-downtime deploys require the customer to own two desks.
Does it scale to a million users?
Yes, with a million laptops. Volume discounts start at 500 units, and our warehouse partners have been briefed.
Is it GDPR compliant?
Your data never leaves your machine. Your machine leaves you. Our lawyers are still deciding which of those matters.
What about Kubernetes?
We ship the cluster as well. It's three Raspberry Pis held together with packing tape. They work on our machine.
What happened to Dave's laptop?
Dave closed the lid to go to lunch. Production slept with it. We've added a sticky note that says "don't" and we consider the incident resolved.
Is this real?
About as real as your staging environment. Please don't actually post us your laptop.
Stop deploying code.
Start deploying hardware.
Your code already works on your machine. The rest is logistics.